Human Brain Analysis - So true

Human Brain Analysis Women - Multiple process Women's brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time . Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe. Men - Single Process Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch a TV and talk over the phone at the same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over the  phone or cook. LANGUAGE.     Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain sets up. But can not find the solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems. 3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy. ANALYTICAL SKILL     Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process. He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily. If a complex map is viewed by women, she can not understand it. She can not understand the details of the map easily. For her it is dump of lines in a paper. CAR DRIVING. While driving a car, men's analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fast. If he see an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and driving accordingly. Where as women take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. His single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrating only on the driving. You can often watch, while men driving the car fastly, the women sit next to him will shout, "GO SLOW" , "CARE FULL", "AAHHH", "OHH GOD.." ..etc.. LIE     Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Her super natural brain observes the facial expression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words coming from the mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lieing. Men's brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face. So guys, While lieing to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket. Don't lie face to face. PROBLEM.     End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts the problems in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If you disturb him, he gets irritated. End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problem being solved or not. WANTS     Men want status, success, solutions, big process... etc Women want relationship, friends, family...etc... UNHAPPY If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on work. If men unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations. MAP Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain does this. While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of crowd, men can leave his seat to T shop and keeps everything in his mind and comes back to his seat with out problems. He uses his analytical skills space of brain. Women can't do this. They often lost their way to their seat. LIFE Life is very easy to Men. One good job   is enough for them. Women want everything in life. SPEECH     Women use indirect languages in speech. Geeta asked Vijay, "vijay do you like to have a cup of coffee?" This means, Geeta wants a cup of coffee.     In the morning......."Darling, do you think, it will be good to have an Omllette for breakfast?". Men use direct language. "Geeta, I want to have a cup of coffee, Pls stop the car when you see a coffee shop". In the morning...."Darling, Can you please prepare an omllette for breakfast?". HANDLING EMOTION Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot with out thinking.                      That's why many of prisoners are men all over the world.

forecast for colombo

Facebook addiction :: this is hilarious ```!!!!!!

If you are on Facebook, I am sure you will find this hilarious  The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)." It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,"I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows." A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him. "Don't worry. It'll be all right." "I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like' button." "How long has it been?" "Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world." The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor. "Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started." "Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book." "How soon were you hooked?" "Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced." "What do you like most about Facebook?" "It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya." "Who's he?" "I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous." "Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see." "Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them." "Let me guess. Farmville?" "No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna." "Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?" "No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. " "What pic are you using?" "Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon." "To make yourself look prettier?" "No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using." "Didn't your friends notice that you look different?" "Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga." "When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?" "I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'" "What did you do?" "What else? I unfriended him of course!"

Where to Go During an Earthquake...

PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ AND INSTRUCT YOUR CHILDREN SO THEY CAN BE SAFE.   WE HAVE BEEN TOLD TO GET UNDER A DESK, TABLE DOORWAY...WRONG!  CHECK OUT THE PICTURES AT THE END OF THIS EMAIL..THEY TELL STORY.     Where to Go During an Earthquake This is the text version of my earlier email styled 《Save your life with "The Triangle of Life"》(see below) further elucidating on the life-saving concept of "The Triangle of Life"....   Folks, please SHARE, SHARE, SHARE this with your loved ones: Where to Go During an Earthquake Remember that stuff about hiding under a table or standing in a doorway? Well, forget it! This is a real eye opener. It could save your life someday. EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON 'THE TRIANGLE OF LIFE' My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI ), the world's most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake. I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries. I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years, and have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters. The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene -- unnecessary. Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them - NOT under them. This space is what I call the 'triangle of life'. The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the 'triangles' you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building. TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY 1) Most everyone who simply 'ducks and covers' when building collapse are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed. 2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a bed, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it. 3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs. 4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake. 5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair. 6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed! 7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different 'moment of frequency' (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads - horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged. 8) Get near the outer walls of buildings or outside of them if possible - It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked. 9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them. 10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper. Spread the word and save someone's life... The entire world is experiencing natural calamities so be prepared! 'We are but angels with one wing, it takes two to fly' In 1996 we made a film, which proved my survival methodology to be correct. The Turkish Federal Government, City of Istanbul, University of Istanbul Case Productions and ARTI cooperated to film this practical, scientific test. We collapsed a school and a home with 20 mannequins inside. Ten mannequins did 'duck and cover,' and ten mannequins I used in my 'triangle of life' survival method. After the simulated earthquake collapse we crawled through the rubble and entered the building to film and document the results. The film, in which I practiced my survival techniques under directly observable, scientific conditions , relevant to building collapse, showed there would have been zero percent survival for those doing duck and cover. There would likely have been 100 percent survivability for people using my method of the 'triangle of life.' This film has been seen by millions of viewers on television in Turkey and the rest of Europe, and it was seen in the USA , Canada and Latin America on the TV program Real TV. Subject: Save your life with "The Triangle of Life" "Triangle of Life": Without listening or reading, simply by looking at the following self-explanatory photos, you can learn more than in a thousand words about how to protect yourself during a major earthquake... If you are inside a vehicle, come out and sit or lie down next to it. If something falls on the vehicle, it will leave an empty space along the sides. See below: Source：國際救援小組（ARTI），網址：http://www.amerrescue.org/ American Rescue Team International（ARTI）is said to be the World's most experienced rescue team and disaster management-mitigation organization.

10 things to learn from Japan

Lets all of us learn from this.....................!!

 

10 things to learn from Japan 1. THE CALM Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself has been elevated. 2. THE DIGNITY Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough word or a crude gesture. 3. THE ABILITY The incredible architects, for instance. Buildings swayed but didn't fall. 4. THE GRACE People bought only what they needed for the present, so everybody could get something. 5. THE ORDER No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the roads. Just understanding. 6. THE SACRIFICE Fifty workers stayed back to pump sea water in the N-reactors. How will they ever be repaid? 7. THE TENDERNESS Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The strong cared for the weak. 8. THE TRAINING The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do. And they did just that. 9. THE MEDIA They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No silly reporters. Only calm reportage.  10. THE CONSCIENCE When the power went off in a store, people put things back on the shelves and  left quietly

LETS TALK

A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that so-called President Barack Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.
"OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass, right?
Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama.... when you don't know shit?"

Why Maid wants more salary..?

A maid asked for a pay increase

The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. 

She asked:
'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'
Maria: 'Well, Mam, there are THREE REASONS why I want an increase.

The first is that I iron better than you.'
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Maria: 'Your husband say so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'

 

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you are a better cook than me?'
Maria: 'Your husband did.'
Wife: 'Oh.

 

Maria: 'The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in bed.
Wife: (really furious now) 'Ah! Did my husband say that as well?'
Maria: 'No Mam... Your driver says'.
Wife: 'Ok Ok, So how much do you want?'

The Empty Soap Box

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the  case  of the  empty  soap  box,  which  happened  in  one  of  Japan's  biggest  cosmetics companies.  The  company  received  a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty.        Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which  transported all  the  packaged  boxes  of  soap  to  the  delivery department.  For  some  reason,  one soap  box  went  through  the assembly line empty.        Management  asked  its  engineers  to  solve  the  problem.  Post-haste, the  engineers worked  hard  to  devise  an  X-ray  machine  with  high- resolution  monitors  manned  by two  people  to  watch  all  the  soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty.      No  doubt,  they  worked  hard  and  they  worked  fast  but  they  spent whoopee amount to do so. But when a workman was posed with the same problem, did not get into complications  of  X-rays,  etc  but  instead came  out  with  another solution.        He  bought  a  strong  industrial  electric  fan  and  pointed  it  at  the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.        Moral of the story: Always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem. So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems. "If you look at what you do not have in life, you don't have anything; if you look at what you have in life, you have everything.

Be your own judge

Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills.

He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below aboard which read -"I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."

While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.

Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely. I feel like dying".

Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt flawless painting. Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work."

Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.

"Come with me." master said.

They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."

Master and disciple walked back home.

They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!

Moral of the story:
It is easier to criticize, but DIFFICULT TO IMPROVE!  So don't get carried away or judge yourself by someone else's criticism and feel depressed...

JUDGE YOURSELF! YOU ARE YOUR BEST JUDGE!!!

Perception: Women Vs Men – that’s funny

Women Friends chatting in office.

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

Husband 1: How was your evening?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!

--
--

Why planning is required...........!

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean.. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test... They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days. The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks. Q.1. Your Name............................ (2 MARKS) Q.2. Which tire burst? (98 MARKS)              a) Front Left              b) Front Right              c) Back Left              d) Back Right.....!!! True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992

sbsbbb

English will be the official language of the European Union

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".   In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.   There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.   In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.   Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.   Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.   By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".   During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.   Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.   Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.   If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Important Message re circulating emails. - High Importance!!!

Here is something everyone should read and act accordingly. If you don't, you're  hurting yourself and your email buddies.  Please read right to the bottom.

By now, I  suspect everyone is familiar with www.snopes.com  and/or  www..truthorfiction.com for determining  whether information received via email is just that: true/false  or fact/fiction. Both are  excellent sites. 

Advice from Snopes.com Very Important!

1) Any time you see an E-Mail that says  forward this on to '10' (or however many) of your friends, sign  this petition, or you'll get bad luck, good luck, you'll see  something funny on your screen after you send it, or whatever,  it almost always has an E-Mail tracker program attached  that tracks the cookies and E-Mails of those folks you forward  to.

The host sender  is getting a copy each time it gets  forwarded and then is able to get lists of 'active' E-Mail  addresses to use in SPAM E-Mails, or sell to other spammers.  Even when you get emails that demand you send the email on  if you're not ashamed of God/Jesus ....that's  E-mail tracking and they're playing on our conscience.  These people don't care how they get your email addresses  - just as long as they get them. Also, emails that talk  about a missing child or a child with an incurable disease  -  "how would you feel if that was  your child"....E-mail Tracking!!!

Ignore them and  don't participate! 

2) Almost all E-Mails  that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are  similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send  business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break  the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards. All it was,  and all any of this type of E-Mail is, is a way to get names  and 'cookie' tracking information for telemarketers  and spammers - - to validate active E-Mail accounts for  their own profitable purposes. 

You can do  your friends and family members a GREAT favor by sending this  information to them; you will be providing a service to your  friends, and will be rewarded by not getting thousands of spam  E-Mails in the future! 

If you have been  sending out (FORWARDING) the above kinds of E-Mail, now you  know why you get so much SPAM! 

Do yourself a  favor and STOP adding your name(s) to those types of listings  regardless how inviting they might sound!...or make you feel  guilty if you don't!...it's all about getting email addresses  - nothing more! 

You may think you are  supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT! Instead, you will be  getting tons of junk mail later and very possibly a virus  attached!  Plus, you are helping the spammers get rich!  Let's not make it easy for them! 

Also: E-Mail petitions are  NOT acceptable to White House, Congress or any other  organization - i.e. social security, etc. To be acceptable, petitions must have a signed signature and full address of the  person signing the petition, so this is a waste of time and  you're just helping the Email  trackers. 

AND MOST IMPORTANT:... don't forget...

Delete other people's e-mail addresses on the e-mails you send out.

 When forwarding/sending- send all as BCC:   

  

A is Apple, B is Bluetooth, C is...

Latest from Nursery Schools:



A:  APPLE

   
 B:  BLUETOOTH
                                                 
C:  CHAT

 
  D:  DOWNLOAD

E:  E MAIL

 
 F:  FACEBOOK

G:  GOOGLE


 H:  HEWLETT PACKARD

 
 I:     iPHONE

J:  JAVA


  K:  KINGSTON


   L:   LAPTOP

M:  MESSENGER

   N:  NERO

       O:  ORKUT

P:  PICASSA

Q:  QUICK HEAL

   R:  RAM

   S:  SERVER

T:  TWITTER

  U:  USB

    V:  VISTA


W:  WiFi

X:   Xp

Y:  YOU TUBE


Z:  ZORPIA

Thank God .... A is still Apple

 

 

 

TO ALL MUMS - THIS IS GREAT

I am only a mother The officer at the Driving License counter asked the lady "What is your occupation?" The woman seeking renewal of her license seemed to be puzzled. So the officer said "Ma'am, are you employed, have your own business or................ The woman replied "Oh, yes!! I have a full time occupation. I am a mother" Officer: "We don't have 'mother' as an option for occupation.   I will write it down as 'Housewife'. That takes care of all questions." This had happened long ago, and was forgotten. Years later when I went to get my license, the Public Relations Officer was a somewhat pompous.woman. "Your occupation?" she asked in a rather authoritative tone. I just had an inspiration and replied "I am a researcher in the field of Child Development, Nutrition and Inter-personal Relationships" The lady officer stared at me in amazement. I calmly repeated my statement and she wrote it down verbatim. Then, unable to conceal her curiosity, she politely asked "What exactly do you do in your profession, Ma'am?"  I was feeling good about having described my occupation so calmly and confidently. So I replied "My research projects have been going on for a number of years (Mothers never retire!!). My research is conducted in the laboratory as well as in the field. I have two bosses. (One is God and the other is my entire family). I have received two honours in this field. (A son and a daughter) My topic is considered to be the most difficult part of sociology.(All moms will agree!!). I have to work more than 14 hours every day. Sometimes even 24 hours are not enough and the challenges are tougher than many other professions. My compensation is in terms of mental satisfaction rather than money" I could see that the officer was thoroughly impressed. After completing the licensing formalities, she came to the door to see me off. This new viewpoint about my occupation made me feel much better on my way back home. I was welcomed by my 5 year old research assistant at the door. My new project (my 6 month old baby) was energetically practicing her 'music'. I had earned a small victory over the Governmental red tape today. I was no longer 'merely a mother', instead I was now a highly placed functionary in a service vital for mankind -Motherhood!! 'Mother' - Isn't it a great title. Fit to be added to the nameplate on the door!! By this standard, grandmothers deserve to be called Senior Research Officers, and Great Grandmothers qualify as 'Research Directors'. Aunts and other ladies of that age group can be called 'Research Facilitators' Please share this with all mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, all ladies currently holding posts like didi-tai-chachi-mami-mausi-bua ...... They will all shower you with blessings and life will be happier.

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A case of kiss and a slap

A Manager, his Assistant (Male), one old woman and her young daughter are traveling in a train and during the course of time get themselves introduced to each other and become temporary friends. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

The train comes out of the tunnel.

The women and the Assistant are sitting there looking perplexed.

The Manager is bending over holding his  face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

The Old woman is thinking:  

These Managers are all crazy after girls. He must have kissed my daughter in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

The Young girl is thinking:

The Manager must have tried to kiss me but kissed my mother instead and got slapped.

The Manager is thinking:  

Damn it. My Assistant must have kissed the young girl. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

The Assistant is thinking:  

If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap my Manager again.  The Rascal keeps harassing me in the Office